island love
Written by Ron Moses
Guitar and vocal by Ron Moses
Backing vocal by Mike Horne
Keyboards by PJ Muller
From Horseshoes and Hand Grenades, produced by Scott Lurowist and Ron Moses
This is a Block Island song, easily the most personal work to come out of those two summers. In explaining this track, I’m going to leave out all the mortifying details that would forever taint your perception of this lovely song, forcing you to associate it exclusively with my deep, scarring shame. I just want you to know there are details, they’re mortifying, and please don’t ask me about them. Okay, good intro! Let’s go.
When it came to fully understanding human behavior and ritual, I was a late bloomer. Case in point, intimate relationships. As you can imagine, when you put a bunch of young people on an island for an entire summer, there’s gonna be a lot of fucking. I hardly knew anyone who wasn’t fucking, or being fucked by, someone else I knew. Most social rituals seemed to be geared toward that ultimate goal, and I began to wonder what I should be doing that I was not doing. How exactly does one negotiate that particular transaction? How do you go from drinking at the club to inserting part of your body into a part of someone else’s body, apparently with their enthusiastic consent? It baffled and intimidated me, and I ignored it entirely when I wasn't obsessively fixating on it.
Then, while getting ready to leave the aforementioned club one night, a woman I’d never met came up and asked me if I wanted a ride. Sure, nice lady, I would love to blindly take your offer at face value and thereby return to my domicile more conveniently than I otherwise would, with no subsequent interaction of any kind! Let’s go!
About three hours later, she got tired of waiting and brought to my attention the fact that I had been picked up with carnal intent; the events that followed consisted entirely of the aforementioned mortifying details. The next morning was a looping mental replay of events in desperate need of comprehension. And then I wrote this song, not so much about the previous night’s events as vaguely motivated by them. I manufactured the romantic angle as it was not remotely in evidence at any point in the encounter. I had to, because I certainly was not inclined to write a song called “That Was Fucked And I Don't Ever Want To Think About It.” So I scrubbed away the more shameful bits and painted the rest a lovely shade of denial. My therapist would be so proud.
I had the opportunity to workshop this song a lot during that summer. A girl I kinda knew (and would much rather this song have been about) told me she really liked that song “I Learned Love”. Ahhh… that’s very useful feedback, thank you. So in this recording you can hear me really leaning on “laaand” just to be sure it’s coming across.
I feel bad for Mike Horne, who’s doing harmony vocals. This guy is a trained singer, the real stuff. I am clearly not. Scott told me later, and I kinda wish he hadn’t, that Mike confided in him that he had to make himself sing flat in order to match my flatness. I appreciate that. I’m not sure I wanted to know that, but it’s good that he did that. Sounds great. And I think going solo on the last verse was the right move. Nice emotional contrast.
Speaking of sounds great, PJ Muller lays down the perfect piano track on this. Perhaps to make up for what I did to him on the “Dumb” solo, I gave him zero direction on this. Just play what feels right to you. And it’s exactly what I would have asked for. Great stuff.
Yes, I rhymed “all” with “all.” Bite me. And that sound you’re hearing in the background, kind of a mechanical whine? That’s Scott’s refrigerator.
Maybe if I had the time
Maybe if I had the peace of mind
Maybe I’d let myself fall for you
Maybe I’d let my true heart shine through
Summer is fading so fast
A piece of my life that I thought would last
Flying ‘cross the sky like a dove
Run from the pain and you lose the love
Island love
Not love at all
Only a pillow to cushion your fall
Island love
Note love at all
Or maybe it is after all
Wonder how it would have been
How deep a hole would my heart be in
Weight the returns for the cost
Better, they say, to have loved and lost
Summer is fading so fast
Wake up tomorrow and blame the past
Settle for nothing, or lose it all
Trade in my fear for a crystal ball
Island love
Not love at all
Only a pillow to cushion your fall
Island love
Note love at all
Or maybe it is after all
I have spent too much time thinking ‘bout this
So many chances that I may have missed
Promise myself it won’t happen again
Using both feet the next time I jump into that island love
Sifting the memories through
Memories of someone I hardly knew
Why lie to anyone else
Spent enough time lying to myself
Summer grows back in the end
There’s always the chance that we’ll meet again
And if we do, then we’ll see
Maybe she’ll even remember me
Island love
Not love at all
Only a pillow to cushion your fall
Island love
Note love at all
Or maybe it is after all